“Nurturing Father/Son Bonds are Still in Style.” By Rico Rivers

 


I saw this picture of gospel singer, Smokie Norful, circulating on Face Book on some black men’s pages and I just had to stop to read some of the comments on some of those pages. Sadly, a lot of the comments about the image in the photo clearly came from of places of ignorance, false doctrines and even insecurity. Some even implied that there was something gay about the picture. There is absolutely nothing gay about a man who is a father accepting an emotional token and/or a physical expression of love and appreciation from his son regardless of how old the son is. He is still this man’s child.

Clearly, Smokie’s teenage son loves his daddy very much. What I see is a dad who created a trusting, loving, secured and stable environment for his child to grow up in. It is apparent that his dad has been a nurturing father. When his son is officially grown and out of the house, that loving father and loving son bond will still be strong. Can't be mad at this.

 As a Masters Level Social Worker, coming from a mental health perspective, far too many black men have grown up without this deep and emotional connection to their fathers. Believe it or not, this father/son connection is actually an important asset in the formation of an emotionally balanced, self confident and self assured adult man. Black men, it’s cool to love on pops. It’s ok to be loved on by pops. It’s more than ok to fall asleep on pops. Parental Intimacy is not just a mother thing. I grew up lying on my mom because I never had a dad. Shout out to gospel great Smokie Norful and the rest of the fathers out there who understand that nurturing intimacy into your son’s spirit and soul is just as important (if not more) as bonding with him over play station and sports.

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